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"When you're feeling unsure about the change in your life, turn to those close to you for a fresh point of view and to help make your change seem more familiar."

Change can be hard. This is especially true for men since they tend to be creatures of habit. Some habits or ruts are comfortable, which is OK, but sometimes a necessary change needs to occur. For that reason, it’s a good idea to understand the process of change. Equipping yourself with the tools to deal with and embrace change will effectively ease difficult transition periods.

Keep in mind that change, even if it is tricky to maneuver, is not always bad. New girlfriends or changes in relationships, new jobs or relocating for a new career are changes that may enrich your life. I’ve outlined some tips on how to accept, deal with and embrace such changes as they come your way. As you read, keep in mind that changes in life mean that you’re growing as a person.

Focus on the good things

When faced with a change that will entirely upset your life, it can be really easy to dwell on all the negative aspects. For instance, moving in with your girlfriend can evoke terrifying images of her sitting around all day in her sweats nagging you, or of not being able to invite the guys over for a boozy game of poker. Instead of focusing on the aspects you won’t like, think of all the great things the change will bring, such as sharing a bed with her, early morning nooky and fresh sheets. Although the move will still be a huge adjustment, you will find yourself more into the idea and ready to embrace the change. The best way to keep on top of this sort of fear is to keep a mental repertoire of the things you look forward to in the change, and pull them out as needed to keep yourself calm and happy. Try to think of new and exciting things to anticipate, and if you’re really in doubt, ask others for help in coming up with them.

Involve those around you in the change

It’s easy to have a one-track mind when you’re faced with a big change. Use your support systems; family and friends are invaluable when it comes to making you realise what a great thing is happening to you. They are able to put a positive spin on the change because they have a whole different perspective on your life and will, therefore, consider elements that you haven’t. So, when you’re feeling unsure about the change in your life, turn to those close to you for a fresh point of view and to help make your change seem more familiar. If you have to move to a new city, ask your friends to help you move there or tour the city with you. These types of activities will make the change feel friendlier, and you’ll look forward to it in no time.

Be open-minded about the change

Chances are that you detest the thought of change because you’re happy with the way things are. You may feel that because you like the way things are now, it’s the only way you’ll ever like them. It’s important to recognise that there are many situations that will make you happy, and sticking to the one that you’re comfortable with might actually cause you to miss out on all the others. Also, be aware that it’s sometimes necessary to relinquish control of your destiny in favor of what falls in your lap.

Dealing with change doesn’t mean you should burn your bridges… Next Page >>

Yes Man - Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

Optimism is good for you. It's good for your health. It can nurture friendships and professional relationships and improve communication skills. Optimism can't -- and shouldn't -- be dictated by the economy or other exterior factors. It should come from an attitude within -- positive reactions that are borne of a philosophical approach to bad news and unfortunate experiences -- and like any skill, it takes time to develop.

What follows are some ways that will help teach you how to be an optimist.

Set boundaries on downers

Paul Stanley from KISS used to say that if you wanted to learn about terrible things and have your spirit crushed, turn on the news. If you wanted a good time, go to a KISS concert. And believe it or not, the man had a point.

Limit your exposure to pessimistic people and heaps upon heaps of upsetting media. The truth is that you can find both in great abundance these days, and they do nothing for your sense of optimism. Try to trim the Debbie Downers out of your life, and choose a single source for news and media and stick to it, as opposed to jumping from site to site and story to story. Doing the latter, one is bound to chronically come across awful stories that, when taken cumulatively, breed pessimism.

Smile more often

It may sound like the tritest advice imaginable, but smiles really do foster optimism. There are even some research studies that, while admittedly remain too subjective for serious scientific consideration, suggest even a “fake it till you make it” approach can actually affect your physiology as well as the physiologies of those around you.

Believe in the best possible outcome

Quite simply, start trying to cultivate a glass-half-full perspective. When reasonable, assume the best possible outcome of events, or at least focus on the most hopeful aspects of a situation. Doing so doesn't make you someone who’s blind to reality; it just provides you with a fresh perspective.

In discussing Ronald Reagan, George Will, writing for the Washington Post, said that optimists, like Reagan, "do not deal in unrealities… [they] create realities that matter -- perceptions, aspirations, allegiances." While it's important to face facts as they are, it's also important to approach them in creative ways and to communicate them accordingly.

Learn to respond constructively

Instead of latching on to the worst aspects, seek out the positives, especially when talking with friends about their personal or professional situations. Turn off knee-jerk “no” reactions, and take active steps toward realizing your goals rather than passively letting things happen to you. Do the same with your friends: When one loses a job, you can commiserate, but you can also remind them of their positive attributes as well as remind them of previous victories in their lives, ones that were redeeming and inspirational. And you can do this without being too Norman Vincent Peale (where “everything is rosy”), through the power of positive thinking.

How to be an optimist continues after the break… Next Page >>

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"We're talking complementary activities here, like law and accounting, not law and ceramics."

We all want to be great at something. Usain Bolt didn’t end up making cocky gestures at the finish line because he was pretty good at lots of sports, Stephen Hawking hasn’t inspired legions of astrophysicists by working on his haikus and David Copperfield isn’t famous for being a great all-rounder.

So, logically, in the professional world, especially in tough times, it makes sense to get really, really good at what you do. Right?

Wrong. Those in the know (business leaders, recruitment professionals, career coaches) are pushing a new buzzword: cross-train.

What is Professional Cross-Training?

Cross-training has been around in the world of athletics for some time, but the phrase can generally be used to express how the combination of two activities produces an improvement -- an interaction effect -- substantially greater than either one can produce on its own. We’re talking complementary activities here, like law and accounting, not law and ceramics. Think about how diet and exercise, when combined, are substantially more effective for weight loss than either diet or exercise alone (or diet and Sudoku combined).
There are two types of cross-training: the kind that you pursue yourself, like learning a new language or getting tech-savvy, and in-company development kind, which could include things like job rotation or management training. Essentially, this means any training geared toward helping you expand your scope of knowledge and skills beyond the confines of your own professional discipline.

If you’re a journalist, learning photography would be an effective compliment. If you’re a yoga teacher, then dance or meditation might be useful. A business consultant might consider picking up skills like public speaking, social media proficiency or HR negotiations.

Why Cross-Train?

The experts agree that if time is scarce, it’s better to learn a new skill than build on the ones you already have. In most fields, honing complementary skills is just as valuable, if not more so, than delving more deeply into the area in which you’re most competent. Having many areas of expertise instead of just one will make you seem like a more well-rounded employee and more useful to have in the office if extra work needs to be done or someone is needed to cover another employee’s tasks. For example, in many cases, the guy who is comfortable with technology, communications and client relations is more useful than the guy who is just an IT whiz.

In addition, the more skills you possess, the more your expertise is apparent and accessible to colleagues and management. Cross-training promotes versatility, giving you the edge in a dynamic economy, where layoffs and belt-tightening mean that fewer employees need to know how to do more. Building new strengths is more important, they say, than improving on known weaknesses -- unless you’re training for the Olympics.

How do you start a skill-development program? That's next... Next Page >>

Jacques Louis-David/Wikipedia

"The result showed that narcissistic bosses are better leaders than the average humble guy."

It's a new year, and a new you. So if you've tended to think of yourself as humble, maybe it's time to make a change, according to a new study.

Having a huge ego, a need for attention and being an overall narcissist doesn’t sound like a trio of compliments but shows that those qualities can make you a good leader, found the study.

A quartet of professors from IMD business school, Penn State, and Erlangen-Nuremberg University found that the aforementioned qualities tend to lead to innovation and daring decision-making.

The professors doing the research examined how 78 CEOs and 33 major American pharmaceutical companies did in the biotech boom from 1980 to 2008. They accounted for narcissism by measuring how often the CEOs’ photos were found in annual reports, how frequently they were mentioned in press releases and their overall compensation compared to the person second in command.

Then the professors evaluated how fast and intensely the CEOs had adapted to the rise of biotechnology.

The result showed that narcissistic bosses are better leaders than the average humble guy. That’s because they tend to see a shot at glory where others might see excessive risk, and that aggression to make a move is where the narcissists are more rewarding to their companies.

More on AskMen:

The One Thing You Should Never Do At The Gym 

Why It's Actually Good To Be A Workaholic

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• Nothing gets people invested in a sport more than a friendly wager.


• Make her look the part with her own feminine jersey.


• Buy beer for you, but whip up girly cocktails for her.

"Money, as a wise man once noted, is a wonderful motivator."

This article is sponsored in part by Pillsbury (What's this?) 

Want to throw a party your friends will be looking forward to every year? Learn the recipes, entertaining tips and sports facts you need to make it happen with our guide to The Ultimate Game Day.

There are few things that divide the sexes quite like football. To most men, the game is a borderline religious experience, while to many women, it’s 60 minutes of unabashed violence punctuated by quaint little committee meetings. So, how do you mend the gender divide and convince your girlfriend to actually watch a game with you? The answer is easier than you may think. Simply follow our suggestions below to get your significant other interested in -- or at least, willing to accept -- America’s most popular spectator sport.

Sign her up for a football pool

Money, as a wise man once noted, is a wonderful motivator. Prompt your girlfriend to take an active interest in the game by signing her up for a football pool. Once she puts her money on the line she’ll have extra motivation to keep track of what’s going on. Who knows, her strategy of selecting the team with the prettiest colors and cutest animals may even pay off.

Buy her a feminine-cut official jersey

Every woman loves to dress up. Make your girlfriend feel like part of the game by buying her a jersey. Unlike the billowy uniforms of old, there are a wide range of jerseys featuring flattering feminine cuts and pink hues. These attractive new designs have made women's apparel football’s fastest-growing apparel business.

Make girly drinks during the game

Let’s face it: You’d probably watch a 12-hour chick flick marathon if you consumed enough beer; the same is true of your girlfriend. If you keep her plied with enough Cosmopolitans and Fuzzy Navels, she won’t mind what’s on the tube!

Draw her in with colorful gossip

Your girlfriend will never become interested in football if you begin by explaining the intricacies of the Over/Under 4-3 defense. Instead, draw her in by regaling her with stories about ongoing feuds and off-field relationship news. If you present the stories in the guise of hot gossip you’ll be sure to pique her interest.

Throw the football around with her

Does your girlfriend think a quarterback is a refund? Give her a better appreciation of the greatest sport in the world by tossing around the pigskin in your backyard. This simple and fun activity will allow her to better relate to the action on the field and it will give you the opportunity to explain some of the tenets of the game in a way she can easily grasp.

Our final tips on how to get her to like football...
Next Page >>

These athletes share their longevity secrets

Tom Glavine, 42
Two-time Cy Young Award—winning pitcher for the Atlanta Braves

"When I was younger, working out was about seeing how strong I could get.

Today, it's about muscular endurance. So instead of, say, maxing out after a couple of sets on the bench press, I'll do three sets of 12 to 15 reps with lighter weights. The result is that my muscles don't fatigue as quickly, and I feel like I have more staying power on the mound. I've also reduced the amount of running in my routine. It was beating up my knees.

Instead, I'll divide 30 to 45 minutes of cardio among the elliptical machine, the spin bike, and walking briskly on the treadmill. I've also started doing Pilates. I was a little skeptical at first, but it strengthens my core and enhances my flexibility. Other than that, I try to limit my two vices--pizza and french fries--to a single serving every other week."

Randy Couture, 44
Current UFC heavyweight champion and the only fighter in UFC history to win the title five times

"In my twenties and thirties, I thought more was better. My workouts were intense, and I was notorious for overtraining. Learning how to taper properly and allow my body to recover for competition is one of the greatest adjustments I've had to make. Now I have a longer taper. During the training cycle, I'll do a combination of core lifts, circuit weight training, and plyometrics. But 10 days before a fight, all the hard running, lifting, and sparring ceases. No workout lasts longer than an hour, and I simulate fights in a very controlled way with partners I know. I enter competitions feeling like I've peaked at the right time. That's not to say that I win all of my fights, but physically, I feel great. I feel unstoppable."

Vinny Testaverde, 44
The only NFL quarterback to have thrown a touchdown pass in 21 consecutive seasons

"My goal has always been to get stronger. In practice, that means working out smarter, not harder, and reducing the wear and tear on my joints. Take squatting, for example: I went from doing a straight-bar squat to a safety-bar squat, which takes the stress off my back and knees but still delivers pretty much the same strength gains as a traditional barbell squat. I've cut back on outside roadwork for the same reason. Now I use a treadmill, or I alternate running outside with exercising on a few different indoor cardio machines. Over the years, I've noticed that the less time I wait between the end of a season and the start of my postseason training, the quicker I'm able to get back into my routine. Flexibility is a big part of that, so I incorporate 15 to 20 minutes of stretching into each workout."

Dikembe Mutombo, 41
Center for the Houston Rockets and four-time winner of the NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award
"My priority is protecting my joints—my knees, in particular. I do exercises that are low impact, such as swimming. I even run in the pool, something I rarely do on the treadmill or the road. I split my cardio sessions between the spin bike and the elliptical machine, and I spend a lot of time developing my leg strength by doing step-ups, leg presses, and squats. The more stable my legs are, the less stress will be placed on my knees. I always warm up for 30 minutes before each game. A lot of the younger guys just wake up, throw on a uniform, and step onto the court. Not me. I hit the gym and do just enough to get my blood flowing and my mind humming. That translates to a few sets of step-ups, some light dumbbells, and 15 minutes of spinning."

Karch Kiraly, 47
The winningest player in beach-volleyball history, and the only player to win Olympic gold medals in both indoor and beach volleyball

"About five years ago, I started working with plyometric coach Mike Rangel. At first I thought, I'm too old for this if it's anything like the plyos I did in my twenties with the Olympic team, but I saw that his exercises—short sprints, knees-to-chest jumps, ankle hops, bottle hops—were very low impact and performed on soft grass, which appealed to me as an older athlete. We also lowered the impact further by moving to the sand, where all of my competition is anyway. I'll do a series of sprints with changes of direction for 20 seconds, rest for six to eight seconds, and then do it again, going hard for a total of about 30 to 45 minutes. Doing this makes me a more explosive athlete. I'm also more limber now than I was in my twenties, thanks to a dynamic stretching program from Adrian Crook, developer of the InFlex movement program."

Pat Onstad, 40,
Goalkeeper for the Houston Dynamo. Last season, Onstad allowed, on average, less than one goal per game, an MLS single-season record.

“Ten or 15 years ago, I’d go out and break 40 minutes during a 10K training run, and I’d lift three times a week. It kept me in good shape, but the movements didn’t mimic soccer. Today, I do more lateral movements, plyometrics, core exercises, lunges, and shoulder exercises with resistance bands that condition my body for what I do on the field. Now that I’m 40, I also need more recovery time. It usually takes a full two days to recover completely from a game or hard practice, but if I implement regeneration workouts—such as 20 minutes of aerobic activity followed by 30 minutes of light lifting and 10 minutes of stretching—the day after a game, I’m able to go hard again the next day. Stretching plays a big role in that recovery process. I always stretch for 10 to 15 minutes before and after a workout.”

Ian Adamson, 43
The most successful adventure racer of all time, with seven world-championship wins. He is also the current world record holder for endurance kayaking (262 miles in 24 hours).

“I’m all about cross training with outdoor sports. My girlfriend and I live near a national forest, so we’ll jump on our mountain bikes or put on our hiking shoes and hit the trails. I also love to snowshoe, telemark ski, and Nordic ski, all of which have become a part of who I am after 40 years in the outdoors. But anytime I run or ski or hike, I make a point of doing two sets of 50 pushups and 50 sit-ups when I get home. This helps me maintain a balanced musculature. I hadn’t even considered adding yoga to my routine until last year, but now I go once a week. Elongating muscle fibers and training fine motor skills are incredibly important to athletic longevity, and you don’t usually get those benefits from activities like biking or running or kayaking.”

Dave Scott, 54
Six-time Ironman world champion and the first inductee into the Ironman Hall of Fame

“The older I get, the more I realize that consistency is the name of the game. When I was younger, I would train every day for four to six and a half hours. But if I didn’t have time to do the whole thing, I’d get discouraged and bag the workout. Since then, I’ve realized two things: First, something is always better than nothing, even if it’s just 20 minutes of exercise. Second, you have to schedule a backup time to work out. Life happens, and if you establish a contingency plan, it doesn’t have to affect your fitness. Recently, I’ve started to concentrate on multimuscle exercises, including squats with the bar held above my head, and single-leg Romanian dead lifts. Building and maintaining muscle mass becomes increasingly difficult as you age, and compound movements give me a boost in that regard by triggering the production of growth hormone and testosterone.”
Chris Chelios, 46
Defenseman for the Detroit Red Wings and the oldest active player in the NHL who has appeared in the playoffs 22 times—a league record.

“I train to prevent injury, and that means targeting the body’s stabilizing muscles. A lot of guys will go to the gym and just hammer the larger ‘beach muscles’—the chest, legs, upper back, and arms. Sure, they look good in the mirror, but they don’t help that much on the ice. Instead I work the abs, hip flexors, rotator-cuff muscles, and the smaller support muscles in the legs and trunk. Shoulder rotations, lying leg raises, and balance-board drills hit those muscles. I also focus on strengthening the body’s weakest links, such as the knees. It might sound counterintuitive, but the best way to protect your knees is to strengthen your hips. To build hip strength, I sit in a 45-degree leg-press machine and squeeze a stability ball between my thighs as I extend my legs. Three sets of 10 reps once a week.”

In no other sport do men run for so long, at such intensity, with so little rest, all while dribbling a slippery ball and fending off tacklers. No other team is as fit as the boys in red, white, and blue—could that help them do better than ever in South Africa? The World Cup is, for 95 percent of the globe, something like the Super Bowl, the Summer Olympics, and Mardi Gras rolled into one giant foot-stomping, hand-clapping, flag-waving fiesta.

For the better part of a month, this quadrennial tournament fuels parties and clears cubicles as fans of the 32 participant nations sing, dance, and get day-drunk in the name of national pride. We in the United States are late to the party. We were raised to dismiss soccer as some foreign trifle that encourages tie scores and rewards theatrical turf dives at a whisper of contact.

But a funny thing happened as the U.S. national team started to gain international respect. Last summer, it beat the world's number one squad, Spain, and has since risen to 16th in the world rankings. Heading into the Cup, in South Africa, the team has developed into a power that deserves to share the field with England, our first opponent this summer. (The date is June 12. Mark it down.) With success, more Americans began to pay attention. And they began to see soccer players at this level for what they are: arguably the best all-around athletes on the planet.

First consider the talent pool, says Pierre Barrieu, fitness coach for the U.S. men's national team. "In most countries, soccer is the number one sport. Imagine if all the athletes in the NFL, the NBA, the NHL, and MLB played soccer. That's who we're competing against—the best of the best from around the world."

And then there's this: In no other sport do men run for so long, at such intensity, with so little rest, all the while being asked to excel at so many things: sprinting, jumping, cutting, tackling, and of course, dribbling a slippery, round ball with such skill that it seems to be tethered to their feet by a string.

"Soccer players are the world champions of intermittent exercise," says Peter Krustrup, Ph.D., an associate professor of exercise and sport sciences at the University of Copenhagen. "It's the combination of intense interval exercise with various activities requiring cardiovascular fitness and muscle strength. Elite soccer players have extraordinary intermittent exercise ability, high sprinting and jumping ability, and high endurance." They're strong, too: Norwegian research reveals that top soccer players can typically squat 440 pounds.

Krustrup says he and his colleagues have observed a 20 to 40 percent drop-off in performance between the first 15 minutes of a game and the final 15 minutes. "Soccer players become fatigued," he says, which means that often the fitter team wins. That's good news for the United States. Our national team may not be the world's most talented (that's Brazil, Argentina, or Spain), but you'd be hard-pressed to find any team in better shape, according to various trainers interviewed for this story.

On the following pages, take a closer look at four U.S. team members who will make us all proud to wear red, white, and blue this summer. Each personifies a component of fitness—agility, endurance, speed, and strength—that can be systematically improved. Use their strategies to work yourself into world-class shape. Just don't ask them for advice on how to dive. If you want to work on that, check with the Italians.